To my father,
Some people dont have a father anymore. I am one of those people, because even though my father is still alive, he is not the man I know. He is an evil man taken over by the discusting drink he puts down his throat. My father comes home from work, as the loving man I know…for about five minutes. Then he goes to the fridge, and takes out a beer, and drinks it. Finishes the beer, takes another. And repeats this process about twelve times. Sometimes more, never less. He turns into someone I hate, someone I loathe to be around, someone who disgusts me and someone who I am ashamed to call my father.
My father is an alchoholic.
I have always been a so called “daddys girl”. I always looked forward to the time my dad got home from work and gave me a big hug. My father was my inspiration, my best friend. But then he started drinking again, and that inspiration, that best friend was taken away from me. The most painful thing to experience is seeing your father sit on the couch drinking away his dreams. It is such a painful thing to see your sweet father turn into a physco because of the alchohol. It is such a painful thing to have your family torn apart because this evil man is putting alchohol over me, my sisters, and my mom.
My father is a selfish asshole.
Alchohol has different effects on people. It gives my father anger issues. He doesnt think before he speaks. He doesnt care how much it hurts. Because when he comes home the one thing he cares about is getting that beer down his throat. Do you know how much that hurts? To come second to a beverage. Alot. Just before, my dad came downstairs to get his 6th beer in the past two hours out of the fridge. I said to him sarcastically “Oh yeah dad take another beer why dont you” And you know what he said to me? “Oh Erin why dont you go eat some more.” And I sit here bawling because I cant think of anyone mean enough to say such a thing, let alone my father. But then again, he isnt my father anymore. He isnt my father the immigrant from ireland who came to america with big dreams to get a job and start a family. Hes an abusive man who has single handedly torn apart his family. My sister and I basically hate eachother because of my father. My other sister went to the college as far away as she could just to get away from him. My mother is losing hope in him.
Now I am not going to go into detail about what my father does when he is under the influence of alchohol, because you would probably call the police on him. I have had a mug thrown at me, I have been locked out of the house for hours, I have been hit several times. But it isnt because of my father. My father is a loving man who would never do anything to hurt me, It is his addiction that does this.
My point of writing this is to send a message to the kids my age out there. 13,14,15,16 year olds, when you go out partying, drinking at this young of an age, think about your future. The things they tell you in health class are no joke. Think about twenty years down the road from now when your children hate you because your addiction has ruined they’re lives. Just think about it.
